Sunday, October 13, 2013

The Positive Punchline Function

So, there's another reason I haven't been writing much over the past little while (beyond the near-constant overwhelming of homework and work duties) is that I'm not sure what to write anymore.  It's not that I don't have anything to say, I've just been really worried that I've been writing too much negativity in my posts.

Most people that know me (in the non-virtual world) consider me to be a cheerful, optimistic person.  This is because I believe that people shouldn't complain unless they are directly asking for help--and I don't ask for help.  I've always felt that, short of catastrophic circumstances, any problem I have is manageable, and I should figure out how to deal with it myself.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that even if the world isn't ending, it's still okay for me to ask for help.  And even though I'm not really sure how or when, I've started to rely on my friends and family.  But my former mentality seriously affects the way I behave, and I've noticed that if I say anything negative, whatsoever, the people who know me get very worried.  They think I've never been negative before, so there must be something wrong.  But in reality, I'm just expressing a side of myself that I don't normally.

Now, when I get on here, since I want to accurately express my thoughts and feelings, I want to tell you everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  But when good things happen in my life, I want to tell someone.  When someone compliments my artwork, when I get an A on a test, when I get asked out on a date, I want to tell someone.  And since it's not negative, nor a problem needing to be solved, I feel completely free to tell my loved ones.  And I do.  When it's really good, I tell all of my family, and many of my friends.  When it's just something a little good, I might tell one or two people.  But that's enough for me.  So when I start writing, my brain goes "welp, I've already said all the good stuff, so I'll unload everything else onto these unsuspecting people."

But I don't want to do that.  I don't want to be that person: nobody wants to read only the negative thoughts of a relatively balanced person.  The world has enough negativity.

So, from now on, I'm going to give a more accurate, balanced sampling of the World According to Penny.  If that means leaving stuff out, or not writing as often, then so be it.

And that brings me to another point.  I ramble.  A lot.  I always feel like I need to tell every detail of the story, to get people to understand what I'm trying to say.  But I've noticed for several of my posts, even I get bored, while I'm writing it.  And if I, the subject of the story, who is fully invested in it, isn't interested in writing it, why in the world would you be interested in reading it?  I want to learn what parts I can cut out, to get straight to the "juicy bits".  I think that focusing on how to write like that will help me in my social life, as well.  I'm already learning how to "skip to the punchline" in my conversations with other people, and I've noticed that more people have grown interested in what I have to say.  (although, for an art project at school, one which I created in 11 hours, over two days, when we discussed it in class, I turned off the "punchline function" and answered their questions with full ideas.  I haven't talked that much, nor that enthusiastically, for quite some time, it was fantastic)

Anyway, so that's my version of a "short" post.  My life is good (and bad, too, but mostly good).

Ta ta, for now,
Penny

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